Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

...for all of the prayers, encouragement, and support. I continue to be overwhelmed and humbled by how many people we have praying for us. I honestly believe Wyatt would not have held out this long without all of your prayers. This has definitely tested my faith like nothing I have experienced in life, but how can I not have faith more than ever when I see how the body of Christ has come together to support us.

"...But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." I Cor. 12:24-26 NIV

As for the hospital stay - last night and today in the hospital have been relatively boring. There were a couple of small misunderstandings regarding doses and when to dose, etc. For all of you that have been in the hospital before, I am sure you can relate. Luckily for me the wonderful nurse from yesterday was here again today. Considering this is a labor & delivery floor they don't seem to understand my persistence and lack of patience regarding treatment for my unborn children. I guess they have more to worry with than just me. The only peak into the babies world I have gotten today is through the fetal heart rate monitoring. They both look beautiful. We will have scans at 2:30 pm tomorrow to see if all this Albumin has propped Wyatt's blood flow up for a little longer. Because of the fluids, steroids, and the Albumin, not to mention the twin pregnancy, I am at an increased risk for Pulmonary Adema (fluid in my lungs) so my paranoid self has requested that Todd spend the night with me tonight. Of course, he agreed willingly. So, we'll see how much sleep he gets between nurse visits every two hours or so.

I almost forgot...we get growth scans in addition to the doppler scans tomorrow afternoon. Please pray again that Wyatt is now two pounds. It is so upsetting to me when we do these and he hasn't grown.

Spooky Intuition or the Holy Spirit

We are still at the hospital tonight, and Randi will be spending the night here. This is it. This is the day that Randi said would come in her last post. The fluids did nothing for the reverse end diastolic blood flow from yesterday. There is one particular spot on the umbilical cord that has been giving us problems. It's near where it inserts into Wyatt's belly. The sweet nurse commented after the scan and the doctor left, that getting him up here was the indeed right thing to do. She was very persistent throughout the day to insure that he would be up to L&D to do scans on Randi.

They have taken Randi off the Lovenox and baby aspirin, both blood thinners that were being used to increase total blood flow to the placentas. They have taken blood for a CBC, metabolic profile, and several clotting tests. She is back on additional IV fluids and fetal heart rate monitoring every six hours. She received her first dose of the second round of two steroid shots to encourage fetal lung development. We are actually getting these a couple days early, but the doctor thinks they are necessary since delivery may be imminent. If all the bloodwork comes back good, then the plan is to give her plasma albumin, which is a intravascular protein. Theoretically, it should work to correct the reverse blood flow much the way the IV fluids have. This is our last ditch effort to get rid of the reverse end flow before we run out of options. At the very least, the peri will try to put off delivery for 48 hours so the babies can get the full benefit of the steroids. At best, the albumin will buy us a little more time before delivery.

I am asking all out there to PLEASE PRAY that the Lord will keep the boys safe until they make their entrance in this world. We are indeed so thankful that we have been given the last 8 weeks under these conditions. This pregnancy has been so unbelievably different than Randi and I could have imagined. So much joy, but so much pain as well.

Emotions Are Flying

I had a rough night last night and it seems to have continued into today. I’m not sure exactly why. Well, I know why, but I’m not certain why yesterday and today as opposed to any other day on this emotional roller coaster we have been on for nearly 10 weeks. I couldn’t seem to keep control of my emotions last night and just had a breakdown. Todd thought it was something he said because a conversation we were having is what triggered it, but in reality it has absolutely nothing to do with him. I have been overcome with fear, and while I am so thankful we have made it this far, I am afraid that we are pushing Wyatt too far and am fearful we may suddenly lose him. The doctor has assured me that “generally” there will be plenty of signs before a fetal demise and as soon as we see any one of these signs we will bail on this pregnancy. While I completely trust the doctor, there are no guarantees and there is still a risk that we could lose him before we deliver. The further we get in gestation the more fearful I get and the harder it is for me to go even a day without ultrasound scans or some kind of medical intervention. I had IV fluids on Saturday, things looked good and then by Monday afternoon the blood flow was consistently reversed. I’m at the hospital as I type this, receiving fluids again, but the doctor said he would only scan if I felt like I needed or wanted him to. Otherwise I won’t see him again until Thursday afternoon. As Todd mentioned in his post yesterday, it has become evident that our interventions are no longer providing a benefit for as long as they did previously. With that being the case, I just don’t feel comfortable going without scans from Monday to Thursday, with or without fluids. I feel there will come a day when the fluids don’t correct the reverse blood flow and what if that day is today. I don’t know if we have stressed how serious the reverse flow is, but all the literature out there suggests that morbidity and mortality rates are extremely high and this is the time you must deliver. Had the IV fluids not corrected the reverse flow (albeit temporarily) all this time, we would have delivered weeks ago.

So anyway, I came in to the hospital this morning and one of the many wonderful nurses here was asking me questions about the babies, the pregnancy, how I was doing, etc. and I just lost it. She decided at that point that it was best if we have the doctor come up to do scans. So, now it’s almost 5:30 pm and I am still waiting for the doctor. But really what else do I have to do? This is my job now.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV

The Law of Diminishing Returns

The American Heritage dictionary states that the Law of Diminishing Returns is "the tendency for a continuing application of effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness after a certain level of result has been achieved."

Our application of effort is the injection of IV fluids into Randi. Our particular goal is to undo the reverse end diastolic flow in Wyatt and keep Randi "preggers." Our level of effectiveness on this curve is drawing close to zero. At our perinatologist appointment this afternoon, Wyatt has slipped back into reverse flow on the Doppler's after Randi received fluids on Saturday. It appears the treatments are having discounted efficacy in keeping the blood flow out of this dangerous condition. He looks so displaced on the ultrasound images. Parks looks like he's taking up 2/3's of Randi's uterus. On the plus side, he continues to have good reactive tracings on the heart rate monitors. These are important because they give us an extended window into their world, usually 1-3 hours, whereas the ultrasound Doppler's are more like a snapshot at any one point in time.

Randi will return, yet again, to Labor and Delivery tomorrow for more IV fluids and possibly scans. Thirty-two weeks and two days; everyday continues to count.