Monday, January 21, 2008

Prayer for Wyatt

UPDATE: Thank you for all of your prayers. We are still waiting to have a thorough discussion with Wyatt's pediatrician regarding the results of his MRI. I have read the report but want to make sure I understand it before I comment. Hopefully, she will call me on Monday.

Wyatt will have to be put under general anesthesia tomorrow for a MRI study of his brain. Some of you may remember that he had a brain MRI when he was in the NICU to see if his pituitary gland was normal. At the time, he was having severe hypoglycemia, and they were trying to rule out a tumor. Fortunately, his pituitary gland was fine, but they noticed he had some white matter loss and delayed myelination. Without going into an incredible amount of detail on the subject, this could potentially lead to developmental delays, neurodevelopmental impairment, attention capacity, and school performance problems. Can you tell I've read one too many studies? Todd and I had all but decided not to pursue this follow-up MRI because no matter the outcome, it will not change one thing. Wyatt is our child, and we love him completely. We will work to provide the best environment for him to flourish in, but we cannot change his brain.

The reason we are pursuing this now is because we are trying to get individual health insurance. Todd and I are both self-employed, and, unfortunately, we do not have access to group health insurance. Wyatt is currently covered under COBRA from my previous employer. As I'm sure you know, it is quite expensive, and we are searching for a better alternative. Insurance has, of course, denied him due to his prior MRI results. So, here we are, having an MRI tomorrow that I'm not sure I even want to know the results.

What I keep reminding myself is that God has had His hand on this child since the day he was conceived. From very early in my pregnancy, the odds were stacked against him. So far, he's done nothing but excel beyond statistical expectations. Results from an MRI will not define him.

Samuel means "given to God," and that is what I will continue to do, give him up to the Lord.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Happy 8 Months Boys!

Wyatt and Parks' are 8 months old today. They are very busy and developing nicely. Parks is rolling over like crazy and uses this as his sole means of mobility. He doesn't seem too interested in learning to crawl just yet. He is also sitting up unassisted for long periods of time. He hasn't really learned how to put his hand out and catch himself, so he just falls back and bonks his head.

Wyatt is also progressing nicely. He's typically anywhere from 6-8 weeks behind Parks in his physical milestones, mostly due to the fact that he's smaller so not as strong. His physical therapist was very impressed with his progress this week as he is beginning to sit unassisted. She tells me that she expects he will be completely caught up by 18 months old.

Todd and I were just discussing how hard our lives were the first two months after they were born. Those two months seemed to last an eternity. Now that they are 8 months old, we have our routine down to a pretty well-oiled machine, they are sleeping almost 11 hours at night, and those early days are becoming more and more of a distant memory. We are having a blast with them both! Their personalities are blossoming and they are starting to show interest in each other. It's too cute! I am trying to savor every moment. I know this time will pass too fast.

Friday, January 11, 2008

A Bachelor's Grocery List

With Randi and Wyatt out of town, Parks and I are fending for ourselves. Since they left on Tuesday, we had eaten the last of the prepared leftovers today and needed to head to my personal "energy vampire," Wal-mart. These are the actual items in our shopping cart:

--2.5 gallon jug of water for Parks's bottles.
--milk for endless bowls of cereal at odd hours
--microwave pizzas
--microwave corndogs
--microwave burritos

I haven't shopped like that in a long time. Parks has something he'd like to say-- om98hgyt87u6g88hjhbj890[hnubv i87

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

An Empty Wooden Chair

An empty wooden chair and footstool sit beside Parks and I as he takes down his last bottle of the night. Even at bedtime, he maintains a groggy-eyed awareness at whomever is sitting in that chair feeding his brother. He is growing more and more aware of his surroundings daily. Every day he finds something new. One day its his hand, and he says, "wow, I have a hand. What shall I do with this? What is it made of? Where did it come from? Was it there yesterday?" The next day it is a foot; the next an ear, and all the same questions reoccur in his mind.

Today, it is not that he has found something new. It is that he has lost something new. He is not sure what it is, but I can see in his eyes and expressions that his is trying to sort it out. What should fill the void left in the empty wooden chair to which he gazes? He looks at me off-handedly for some explanation, but I can offer no way of communicating that answer that he seeks. I can not explain to him that his mother and brother will not be back for several days. This is a trip they have taken several times to seek specialists attention for Wyatt, but this is the first time that Parks is beginning to realize that something is askew. It is as watching the whole of human history unfold before my eyes. From the darkness, into the light.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Rock'em, Sock'em Robots

During our last awake time before the boys go to bed, we try desperately to come up with anything to keep them entertained. After a full day of playing with the same toys over and over, there is only so much to do. We are trying to get them to interact with each other more and more. Most times one will goo goo and gaa gaa while the other sits uninterested, then roles reverse and never in sync. The last week or so this has turned into a version of Rock'em, Sock'em Robots that they love. Each of us holding a child upright and sending them headlong into each other with one of the boys ending up on top of the other one...belting out loud all the way. It really is a sight. If it wasn't a full two man operation, maybe I would get it on film. Also, something else we have tried to get video of is Parks sitting upright in the tub starting to play with bath toys. Somewhat be accident, I figured out that the rubber duckies that we own spit out of their mouths when filled up with water. A great baby-daddy time, it is my job to bathe them every night. Parks loves it when you spray him on the chest with the water stream. He gets into a full belly laugh with his two little snaggle-teeth from his lower mandible bouncing up and down like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Still Moments

Our boys are now 7 1/2 months old and mobility is beginning, especially with Parks. He is definitely our little spitfire and he wants nothing to do with sitting still. No, he's not learned to crawl yet, he can merely roll, but he thinks he can run. He now gets impatient when he's on the floor, when he's in the exersaucer, and even when we're holding him. He wants to be mobile!

Todd and I alternate which baby we feed each time and tonight it was my turn to give Parks his bedtime bottle. A lot of nights this can be a struggle because he's typically so worn out by then.
I'm not sure why but tonight was the exception. He smiled and giggled the whole time I was dressing him, which is rare. Typically, he screams through the entire time. He took his entire bottle without incident, which is rare. Typically, we might have to wrestle him to get him to drink it all. And the best part was he let me rock him and sing to him without trying to fight me. He usually wants to look around the room, mostly at his brother's crib soother because other than that it's pitch black. As I rocked him he rubbed his hand on my cheek and looked me square in the eye. Each time they do this my eyes fill with tears. I have never experienced uncontrolled crying the way I have since I became a mother. And then he buried his little face in my sleeve and closed his eyes. I was in heaven!

Wyatt on the other hand is content to sit still and take in what's around him. He doesn't need to be moving at all times. I know it's coming, but in the meantime, I am enjoying the still moments I have with him. These times are short-lived.