Sunday, April 20, 2008

Worth Fighting For...

I feel led to share this evening about a sermon I heard today. The series is entitled Fight Club and the premise, from Northpoint Ministries' website, is "one of the most tragic stories in the Bible is that of David and Absalom. Absalom longed for his father's approval. David longed for the respect of his son. In the end, war came between the two, and one lost his life, while the other lost any chance for reconciliation. This message explores the dynamics of family relationships and why some battles are worth fighting."

My parents were divorced when I was only three. I have no real memories of when my mom and dad were married. What I remember is living with my mom and seeing my dad every other weekend and a month in the Summer. Unfortunately, as I hit adolescence my relationship with my dad began to fall apart and I was hurt by him repeatedly until I finally just gave up and cut all ties with him. It was never a decision I discussed with him, just a decision I made in order to protect myself. After much counsel I was able to work through what God had commanded me to do, and that was forgive my father. My struggle for the next 10 years then became a struggle of whether or not I had to reconcile with him just because I forgave him. I never had the chance for reconciliation. Our story, like King David and Absalom's, has a very tragic ending. My father took his life in October of 2006, just two weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Wyatt and Parks. With hopes of having children of my own soon, I was just beginning to open my heart and mind to the possibility of reconciliation.

Andy Stanley's point was when we are not in relationship with our family members, there is something in all of our hearts, that will tug at us until we are reconciled. These are the relationships worth fighting for. We must fight for them the way God fights for His relationship with us. After all the Lord has done in order to be in relationship with me, how silly of me to really believe that I could just get away with forgiveness, that I wasn't also commanded to pursue reconciliation, regardless of whether I would win or lose. As I listened this morning, to this incredible story it was so odd to not feel the conviction to reconcile with my father, yet so heartbreaking that I will never have that opportunity. Not only for myself, but for my children. So, if you are struggling with familial relationships and feel led or have a few minutes this week, you can listen to it for free here.


Lori said...

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. I know how difficult that was to think about and deal with let alone share. It is so funny when you look back at your life as you get older and realize that some things were kinda taken for granted in a way. It seems to affect us more as we think of starting or have started a family. I always try to gain something from my past and hopefully learn from it and take something positive away with it. It is a struggle too, but something that I can keep in my mind, heart and spirit to pass along my lessons learned to my children.

I know that the two of you will be inspiring, wonderful and good stewards in your lives and the lives of your children. From the time I had the pleasure to know your family I can say that you are off to an amazing start!

God Bless!!

ivegot5 said...

I know this wasn't easy for you to share. But thank you. Sometimes when you feel led to share something like that, you touch way more people than you ever know. Today you were God's vessel. Thanks again.